New Year Sermon: New Year resolutions!!!

My front room might look a bit like this!!!

This New Year Sunday Sermon will be mercifully short, and hopefully bloody brief. This is mainly due to the fact that quite frankly I'm way too busy at the moment dealing with headaches, and empty spirit bottles strewn haphazardly across the floor to even care about writing something cohesive for the blog. I'm also guessing that many of you have been struck down with mysterious headaches this morning. I mean it happens every year, I'm surprised nobody has asked for research grant funding to look into the phenomenon. So 'what is today's sermon about then', I hear you all groggily ask? Well my good friends it's about those all important New Year resolutions. Yeah, those things many of us make and then never stick too!

Now many of you will have made very worthy New Years resolutions, like I have in previous years. You know, have more sex, drink more alcohol, consume more drugs and listen to more rock and roll. You know the classics... what? Really? No way! Are you sure they're not the normal ones people make? I mean those have been my New Years resolutions pretty much since I was 14! What? Really? Diets?!?!?! Why? Giving up smoking!!! You're taking the piss now... right? You're not! Oh! Apparently reader I've just been informed that I've been doing this New Year Resolution 'thing' all wrong. Now personally I think my resolutions sound far more 'fun' and 'worthy', but apparently the aim of New Year resolutions is to make us all a little bit more miserable and possibly suicidal. No I don't understand it either. Society and social norms confuses me sometimes... and by sometimes I mean all the time!
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